The Memories of Lost Love

“You get so upset over nothing!” she screamed as she slammed the car door behind her.
“Lisa get back in the car! It’s starting to rain.” I called after her as I slowly drove beside her. It’s surprising how quickly a conversation can escalate to the point where your girlfriend feels the need to get out of your car and start walking down the side of a country road; miles from anything other than a road side sweet corn stand that had more spider webs then the underside of a sandbox.
I guess it all started when my girlfriend Lisa and I decided to go on a little road trip down to Montréal. We had both just turned 18 and we had planned to go to a few bars and live the underage dream of cigarettes and booze. Of course we didn’t take into account that her ex-boyfriend Brad would call me slurring a symphony of drunken truths; like how when I was away with my family in Costa Rica, Lisa paid him a “very friendly” visit which I was totally unaware of until about five minutes ago. So as I drove slowly along side my now pending girlfriend pleading her to get back into the car but thinking about how good it would feel just to step on the gas and leave her to the roadside cobweb shelter.
I hadn’t even gotten that mad really, I thought I reacted quite well for a man who had just gotten the ultimate kick in the balls from karma or fate or from whatever lead my girlfriend to Brad’s house, while I was learning that orange Fanta looks the same going down as it does going back up. But of course she instantly started to spew out excuses like she was five and had just stomped all over her mother new flower garden, except the difference was she was 18 and had just stomped all over my heart. What she did was unforgivable but I found the fear of being alone overcame my reason and I needed her back, I couldn’t let her walk down that country road and out of my life. I couldn’t go back to the single life where rejection was a day to day routine like eating or breathing, I couldn’t give up the feeling of being in love even if that meant giving up my dignity or at least what was left of it. I felt like stopping and getting out my pen and left over napkins to start making a list of pros vs. Cons or whys and why nots; pro: singing Bohemian Rhapsody on our way to friends places (no music necessary). Con: shaving my beard because “when I kiss you it’s like kissing a bear.” Which Lisa so gently told me after are first kiss. Con: her parents still think I’m her gay friend. Pro: the star watching atop my car while we whispered I love you even though nobody was around. My mind was filling up with so many conflicting thoughts of hate and passion.
“I hate loving you!” I screamed “I hate that even though you’ve broken my heart the memories we have keep trying to put it back together.” Lisa stopped in her tracks “What are you even talking about?” she said without turning to face the car.
“I’m talking about the time my parents were away and you stayed the night, I’m talking about the time when I held you after you had fought with your parents, I’m talking about what’s important.” Finally Lisa turned to face me; she was crying and had mascara running down her face. “I hate loving you too.” she said. I raced out of the car and into her warm embrace and as we kissed I felt the first drops of rain hit my face.

Leonard

Leonard was given hundreds of second chances in his life. In grade one when he would fail his spelling test because of not studying, in high school when he “accidentally” cheated on his long time girlfriend. Even last week at the office holiday party when he told his boss where he could put his piece of cake. Whether it was not studying or maybe having a little more jack then he needed; Leonard had made lots of mistakes. Just yesterday he forgot to forward the memo to the rest of the office to inform them that today was the day the office was to be fumigated, and as Leonard lay awake on his bed wondering if all his workmates were meeting the same fate as many cockroaches had before them, his phone began to ring. Leonard checked the caller ID as he always did, “unknown number” “what is the point in caller ID when people can have unknown numbers?” He wondered. Leonard reached for the phone reluctantly as he had made it a habit not to answer calls before noon. “Hello” he murmured “hello! You have been randomly selected as today’s big winner!” said the voice on the other line with the type of tone that is instantly filed to telemarketer in one’s brain. “Oh well lucky me then” sarcastically remarked Leonard as he tossed the phone back on to its receiver. Leonard lay back down and placed one pillow over top of his face and opened his eyes and stared into the dark abyss and pretended that this is what it felt like to drown. Leonard grew up seeing little of his dad; all he really knew was what he could over hear his mother say to her friends about him. “What a royal fuck up!” “The man is a waste of time.” “Why did I ever marry him?” These words came back to Leonard as his face was pressed against the soft pillow. The fact he never knew his father never quite bothered him, especially not now in his adulthood. It wasn’t because he didn’t care but he had bigger worries as a kid; bullies, girl’s, so his mind was far from the thoughts of the failure of a father. Plus Leonard’s mother was able to replace his father quick enough so that Leonard never really missed out on the manly life lessons that a father passes down. But as Leonard lay on his bed he wondered the fate of his father and what mistakes he had made. Did he fail his spelling tests too? Was he unfaithful? Did he have punctual work ethics? All these question’s floated through Leonard’s mind, he was becoming “the failure”. That guy who is always being told about his potential, and how” if he just put forth more effort...” His life up to this point was a failure in his eyes and those around him; he never actually tried in life. Just floated by, turning down opportunity one by one due to pure laziness. Leonard threw the pillow off his face and took in that first fresh breath off air that cooled his whole body. He picked up his clothes and got dressed. The engine sputtered alive and Leonard was off, to where all men go who feel like losers. The hummer dealership.

Introduction

Welcome! To Ready, Set ... Discuss this is just a blog that I will be filling with all my different types of writing (short stories, monologues, journal entrys etc.) feel free to leave any sort of comments behind maybe even one of your storys for me to read. please enjoy my blog and keep checking back for more updates!